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When I found out I was pregnant, I was immediately overwhelmed with conflicting feelings. For so long, I was in the “hope for a baby every month” club. I had connected with so many readers and friends who knew my pain, who were and are going through infertility, miscarriage, and wanting a baby so hard you can’t sleep at night, much less look on Facebook and not cry every time another person announces they are pregnant. I was there. Although some aren’t as public about their feelings and struggles as I am, God has led me to open up to comfort and to receive comfort through this blog. Ladies struggling with the above who have reached out to me or those who visit I don’t know about, please know I pray for all of you. Know that I had reservations posting a picture on Facebook. The last thing I want is to cause anyone any pain because I have been there. I want to give you hope. God is good no matter what. I am thankful for my struggles and I am thankful for all of you.

i was so tired of crying every month when I got my period. I can’t even begin to describe the disappointment, the emptiness I would feel…I know some of you know what I’m talking about. It never helped getting “advice” every month, especially from those who never knew the struggle of wanting a baby. Everyone is different and I didn’t feel led to go to the doctor. I knew in my heart this was a God thing. Finally I got to the point where all I wanted was Gods will. I believed Sley and I couldn’t have kids because God had bigger plans for us and children would hinder our calling. Even though we both love kids, I felt like maybe God was going to use that in a different way. We went looking for cars one weekend and I was adamant on getting a car I wanted instead of the family car I always gravitated to. I really wanted a 2 door Dodge Challenger. Thank God He had other plans and we ended up with the jeep because a few days later, I would find out I was pregnant.

To be continued…

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